Question 1

Is it safe to travel alone?

Accepted Answer

This all depends on the precautions you take and where you travel.
Some safety steps I took included choosing a country that felt safe and familiar to me.
I also shared my itinerary and physical location with my family for the duration of my trip. I stored important documents carefully (passport, ID, money) on my person and strategically scheduled activities so my belongings were safe.
I booked accommodations that were secure and monitored, and travelled by Uber so that there was a clear trail of my movements.
Definitely research the safety precautions you might want to take at your chosen location. Be familiar with the risks and you will feel prepared and confident enough to handle them.

Question 2

What are the safest destinations?

Accepted Answer

The safest locations are the ones you're most familiar with! You know the risks involved and have been raised on how to handle them. Exploring new cities or provinces in your home country is a great way to start! If, like me, you live close to a border, you might try crossing the line ;).

Question 3

How do I deal with mom guilt while travelling?

Accepted Answer

This deserves its own post, really. It's a great question.

I handle this by getting ahead of it:

I start by scheduling far in advance to give everyone a lot of time to get used to the idea of mom being away, and to set up systems and supports to help out while I'm gone. This could look like getting the kids familiar with new chores or checklists to help out around the house, or to make them feel more confident in looking after themselves. Informing neighbours or family/friends of the trip might trigger some helping hands. When it snows and I'm alone with the kids, my neighbour will snow blow the end of the driveway. This is such a lifesaver first thing in the morning! When I'm away, I try to prearrange playdates for the weekend and carpooling to sports to give Jas a bit of a break.

We make note of the time difference and create an expectation for contact during the trip. I set reminders to make sure I follow through. I send pictures, do facetime, and stay in-the-know while I'm gone so they feel a part of the trip, and so that they don't feel forgotten about.

I also make sure to plan how I'll relieve the other parent when I'm back, and reconnect with the kids (if the want to!).

Remind yourself when you feel pangs of guilt, that you're a human with feelings and ambitions just like anyone else. You deserve support to explore and experience your own life. Most times, my kids and husband are happy for me to do something for myself. Guilt is just self-punishment. You're the only one in control of that.

Question 4

Won't I feel lonely or bored?

Accepted Answer

Only one way to find out!
If you're like me, no.
Two things can be true at once... I love my life but, I love being alone. Nobody to tend to, nobody to have to listen to or console, no chores to do, no schedules to juggle besides my own. I can listen to what I want and relax whenever I feel like it. It's magical. We all deserve days like this! Being such a young mother, I never experienced this until my first time away in my 30's!

The thing about travelling, is that there is no shortage of people. They are everywhere. If you want company, you can find some. Join a group tour or hang out in the hotel restaurant in the evening and chat with the bartender or other guests. Chat with a local at a cafe and ask about hidden secrets (tour guides are an insane resource, btw!). Look for a meetup in the area or call up an old contact! You can also stay in group accommodations if you're worried about feeling lonely.

Question 5

Is it selfish to travel without my kids?

Accepted Answer

Yes. And that's actually part of the point.
Everything requires balance. If you're gone all the time, it might be a problem.
But, if this is your first trip away, it's long overdue. You deserve permission to live your life. I'll start: GO FOR IT!
I like to imagine it as a bit of research. You wouldn't want to invest in a trip and drag your kids somewhere they'd be miserable, right? You'd better check it out first ;)

Question 6

How can I enjoy the trip if I'm worried about everything at home?

Accepted Answer

The art of distraction is incredibly powerful when you're seeing and experiencing things for the first time. It's amazing how quick the time flies when you're having fun. I suspect your worry will subside like mine did.
If you've done your best to cover your bases while you're gone, booked in advance to prepare support, and create a communication plan for while you're away, whatever worries you will be there when you get home.
Be present. Breathe. You'll be home soon.

Planning a trip

Solo Travelling for the First Time

Subscribe to Fighting 40